REPORT FOR
Run # 86

Now and then, things seem to come together flawlessly. Thus was the case for the Bush Hash last Saturday. It had been reported that the Hares had put over 100 man-hours of plotting, planning, wrecking, shredding paper and venting their sexual frustration with the swing of a machete in the Thai Jungleside. If these reports are true, and I suspect they are, there efforts were well worth it.

Those swarthy Hashers who turned out for the Hash were amply rewarded. In terms of trail, checks, paper, distance, keeping the pack together, punishing would-be short cutters, the hares outdid themselves. Even the weather smiled on us. I had been conspicuously absent the last 4 months. Well, sometimes life seems to manage me when I should be managing it. Haha. Lacking all confidence of finishing a daunting hash, I was shamed in to going by Jellobutt. Boy, end the end, I was quite happy not to miss this one.

The trail wound down dirt roads, through some great jungle, fun trails and carved a meandering line across untold jungle. Everyone was on trail always and everyone came in close together.At one point on the trail, Jellobutt and I came upon the sound of giant insects. I stopped to orient where the sound was coming from. Shapes began moving slowly in confined spaces. Across the valley, a man armed with a scimitar carefully checked the sharpness of his blade. He was wearing a turban and baggy white trousers. Suddenly, the air became red and muggy, almost liquid. From the drops of condensation forming before my eyes I became conscious that rain was forming – and yet, I remained dry. I stood watching other hashers rumble by, seemingly invisible to them. I was immobilized to the ground, as if roots had grown out of my feet and anchored me in place. I looked over at Jellobutt, an evil smile creased his face. Yes, the mushrooms he’s picked on the trail were magic mushrooms afterall.

I should have known better than to trust a fellow hasher not to pull the piss on me. The on-in was an event of laughs, poking fun at each other, down-downs and much drunkenness. Everyone took a turn at running the Circle and no one escaped punishment for crimes committed. The ever veritable hash bus deposited all of us at the Dao Bar, a recent sponsor of the Hash and purveyor of some of the finest food, fun and spirits known to Pattaya.

The Dao Bar put on a sumptuous affair and spread of food to satisfy all. We ate by the pool, watched the Dao Bar owners learn to do a down-down and sang more songs. Much beer was consumed and much happiness and laughter filled the air. All things come to an end, including the Bush Hash. And with tired bodies, full bellies and happy smiles did the Bush Hash makes it’s way home after a seemingly perfect Hash.