REPORT FOR
Run # 83

The Patttaya Bush Hash... nothing like it in the world

This ain't the Pattaya Monday Hash or Pattaya Jungle Hash, or even like a nice Thursday outing with the boys Hash. No. This is the Hash that kills and maims.  Any founder of a hash named "Charlie Manson" must give a clue to the hashers who dare tread on its trails.  On this Saturday afternoon, August 11, one Seaman Stains and one Seaman Swallows came to be the hares.  Stains promises the run to be no less than 14 kilometers so the GM calls for "On Out" at promptly 15:09 to get a move on before the sun sets its shine.

The first check went well. No problem. Then something odd happens. Yes, very odd indeed. In fact, perhaps, the oddest thing ever to happen in the whole entire history of hashing world over.

The pack comes to a check and GI Joe goes left and Roger the Sick Prick checks to the right. The Sick Prick yells "On On" and off the pack goes following the Sick Prick up the hill through grassy weeds. But below the hill, down into the ditches and downwind of the pack, GI Joe, all alone, running completely solo, also yells "On On".

Unfortunately the pack, the entire pack, follows the wrong FRB and away we go, up up up up , into no-mans land flollowing OLD PAPER. Yes, Stains, that's right, OLD PAPER. So Karumba tries to assure the pack; "Don't worry, its really true trail, the ants just ate the paper, happens all the time." Right. And "SHIT" got its name from Store High In Transit.

So, after following OLD PAPER for 30 minutes, up and down and around OLD TRAILS, the pack, the entire pack minus one Gi Joe,  get throughly lost. Lost big time.

Nobody has any clue where true trail is. But most know exactly where the "A" site is so IDAHO, inspires half the pack to follow him back to the "A" site and start on the beer. Lazy bastard. He shoulda been born a pom.

So, now, where is GI Joe in all of this? He's comfortably sitting at the "B" water stop, by himself sucking on watermelon and pineapples. Being the only hasher to have found true trail, solo.  Some of the pack decide to continue onwards and find true trail. Meaning, we start all over again. Unfortunately one of those hashers was ET.

When ET hit the waterfall area, the slippery rocks made a mess of his right shoulder. Poor hasher he is,,, dislocated it. Ouch.  Somehow, the sod made it up the waterfall and down the trail another 4 km running on a dislocated shoulder.  True blue American fighter he is. Off to the hospital he goes.

The only three hashers to make it all the way on true trail  back to the "A" site was Jellobutt, Karamba, and No More Cum. A three hour walk/run in the bush. A nice time indeed. Karamba was a walking compass.  Whatever happened to GI Joe after the water stop? He got what he deserved, LOST,.... along with Roger the Sick Prick. They found more OLD PAPER. They both got what they deserved, hahahahahaha.  Ringworm had to pick them up on the 331 road just before the GM calls the circle.

Although the trail was a bit messy, Stains and Swallow both deserve credit for the obvious time and effort they put into today's run and delicious food. And special credit goes to Swallow, as she is the Hash Hero of the day. Taking ET to the hospital and making sure the doctor knew ET's name.  We all hope ET recovers soon and gets back to the Bush Hash as soon as possible.

Jellobutt