REPORT FOR
Run # 75

When I got a SMS from V.V. last Tuesday, I smelled a rat.  He never calls me unless he needs something.  How right I was and here I am "The Scribe" on my maiden Pattaya Bush Hash run.


Pattaya Bush Hash (PBH3) Run 75 or LXXV (for the literates amongst us) a.k.a. "The Frog Legs" run.  I view of the ethnicity of the hares, it is not surprising that it took7 of them to set a run (a good one, but more about it later) and that they had to ask a "Belgian" to be their leader, a Gaumais at that (for those who want to learn something new - also for me to show off a bit - Gaumais means from Gaume, the remotest part of Belgium - do not ask where Belgium is - luckily in the south [not the northern backwards Flemish land] a.k.a. the "nether" part of the country).

The run was set a gazillion miles away from Pattaya in a beautifull hilly country side, not far from Rayong.  After an uneventful bus ride, we reached the A-site where a batch of elderly Froggies were waiting us.  The hares must have emptied all the "Home for the Elderly" around Pattaya to gather such a sample of humanity (they even provided private transportation).

No Meat called the circle to attention, brought the virgins in (no bloody beer, just a sip of water, not eve only!), made them swear on the Bush Master icon never to come again and then it was left to the hares to explain what we could expect.  At least it is the feeling I got from the ramblings V.V. gave us in his rich Benglish (nothing to do with Bangladesh, albeit almost as bad).  And off went the pack, minus yours trly and most of the decaying elders from France.

Being too much "preservation minded" (my own, that 's it), I choose not to partake in the joy ride, but to keep you informed I made a few inquiries amongst the faithfuls.

As Semen's Stains put it (after 3 months spent sampling Guinness in Dublin...): "Beautifully set in rolling green hills, with breathtaking vistas of the surrounding areas, albeit with too little paper (whatever that means) Up we went, and down, and left, and right, and again more of the same until we reached the pit stop." (more ramblings, but no interest whatsoever).  Meanwhile rain had started, but we did not care as we were sheltered.

After about one hour, the FRB's reached the water truck where they were rewarded with a small cup of ITALIAN red wine.  The Froggies hares too much aware of the plonk produced n their country, made a wise choice.  Some runners elected, at that point to return safely to the A-site, while most of the pack asked for more and up they went and down and left and right and then again, and again, and again...

The water wagon returned to the A-site where T-shirts were produced and lavishly offered to all who had come (Thanks to the sponsors, for making this possible).

About 69 minutes later, No Meat was the first back, closely followed by Pussy Virus and the rest.  Nobody was lost, pity....  A very rare sight today: Super King Yao Yao came back utterly whacked.  Never seen that in more than 10 yers of hashing in and around Pattaya, the indestructible King in such a poor condition.  Amazing Thailand, Wonders never cease.

"grilled lobster" flavored, wow) and fruits.  Eventually, No Meat called the circle, with the hares being the first beneficiaries of their goodness (V.V. in the bucket), followed by all the other French speaking laggards (yours truly replacing V.V. in the bucket).

Pussy Virus, No Meat, Festering Streaker, Big Nosed Bastard, Allah's Arsehole took turn as Circle Masters and meted out rewards and punishments for bastardly deeds committed by all those sinners.  Being deaf, I missed most of the explanations (as if I could care) but Smiling Brown Spider, No More Cum, Pussy Virus, No Meat, Mr Sheen, V.V., Semen's Stains, Allah's Arsehole, King Yao Yao, No Trucking Idea, Are You Sure, Big Nosed Bastard, Fucking Dog are some of the names I remember.  Too bad for the other, they missed their five seconds of glory.

Semen's Stains was a perfect choir master for the hash hymn (Swing Low, Sweet Chariot for the ignoramus), then back to the wagons and off to Pattaya's Tiger and Shark den of iniquity for some good grub and more hilly views.

All told, a good day out in the country side: great V.V. run, great circle, great T-shirt, great food, great scribe ... Big thanks to our sponsors:

 Shark & Tigger a Gogo,  la Guinguette,  Decorum,  Patrick'Restaurant,  No 1 Visa,  First Bar,  Pim Bar,  Barbie Bar,  Water Fall Cafe,  Relax Cafe,  la Detente  and  Pattaya Info.on

On On Folks,

Yours Truly,

Mr Sheen