No bus due to the driver’s other obligations. After hard negotiation by Care Bear and Allah’s Arsehole, they managed to get three baht taxi-drivers to do the transportation. We finally departed at 2.15 pm and arrived at the scenic A-site in 45 minutes. Others had been awaiting the bus for some time.
The circle was called. Twelve Bush Virgins On In: French Katoey, Petunia, Miss Coconut and the rest yet to be named. JM Allah’s Arsehole told them the Three Sacred Principles of The Bush.
Then Ringworm carried out a raffle. There were three white envelopes, including one for ladies only. My tough luck was to pick up the last one: “You are today’s Scribe!” with a free run ticket. Not much consolation as my first and only previous Bush Hash was Run No. 2 five years ago, and there were so many people I didn’t know at all. Never seen them on PH3 Monday runs.
Hares V.V. and Lunch Box explained the run and off we went. The first cattle were met only 30 metres into the run. First check at the paved road, then up the mountain slope. It was all very scenic, but unfortunately the vegetation was so high that smaller Hashers (like Rabid Bitch) were unable to appreciate the green vista below. Then it got more difficult following the up & down hilly trail. There were sharp fells, swift streams, quarries and fields. And in the background, the distant boom of celestial artillery.
To everybody’s delight we met V.V. and Fucking Dog with water supplies after about 70 minutes hardship and rough terrain. After a short break, it’s on the trail again. V.V. informed us the second leg was about one hour (a very optimistic assessment).
The run continued across the paved road, and after wide pineapple and tapioca fields, the climbing returned. As I was already tired out, I did the trail alone. Then I lost paper after an incorrectly-broken check. Fortunately after 20 minutes of lonely searching with dusk falling, I met another Hasher, Ringworm. Finally we found paper, and followed clear footprints alongside stream beds.
Then, big surprise, we meet the unsuccessful short-cutters Seaman Stains and Virgin Craig, after some two and a half hours of struggle. We went on together for a while, but as the younger Hashers were less tired, fairly soon they left us Old Farts behind.
Up & down while darkness fell around us. Then an even bigger surprise when we once again met up with the would-be short-cutters who had lost paper in the jungle.
So on we went together again, either in total darkness in the bush (it is the Bush Hash!) or under clear moonlight, without losing the bloody paper anymore. To our utmost relief we ended up at the A-site 3 hours and 10 minutes after we started. The Circle was already underway, and we were cheered in by the comfortably-seated crowd.
My first down-down went down quicker than ever.
And now I’m having to dig out some notes from my totally blank memory. I do hope nobody running or involved in the Circle feels hurt, but most of the events and names just passed me by. I recall Allah’s Arsehole, Rabid Bitch, Weed Eater, Knickerless, Ringworm, Big Nosed Bastard and Seaman Stains all running the Circle for a while. Awards went to 6-time Bush Hare V.V., new Double-Bushmasters Fucking Dog and Arsehopper, and new Bushmaster Ball Ringer. Hares V.V. and Lunch Box got their fair share of ice, and even King Yao Yao got iced for something or other.
Various French Hashers, including of course French Katoey, were iced regularly, for sins ranging from not wearing Hash shirts to just being French. Alex Idontknow unwillingly shared the Holy Water with a pretty demoiselle, the newly-named Cuisses de Grenouille. Yeast Infection was also named, to the amusement of the ladies present.
Norweigans on ice of course, and in two shifts. They must be more numerous in Pattaya than in their own country at this time of year.
We found out that the Asian Indoor Games were underway in Thailand, and there were several proposals, including some slightly shady ones, for new events (though the organisers may not accept all of these, if any).
Seaman Stains on in for the Hash Hymn. Then most Hashers proceeded to Jay’s Place for a generously sponsored and very tasty barbecue.
On On!
Skiing Finn
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