REPORT FOR
Run # 46

Run write-up - PBH3 10 July 2004

Your Scribe, a perennial late arrival, showed up first for once.  He was treated to the view of a beautiful A-site by a man-made lake.

The locals apparently liked it, too: there were many of them by the lake.  However, not many took notice of my arrival, busy as they were removing any marine life that, against the odds, might live there.

As the pack assembled, your Scribe noticed a worrying trend towards "Camelbak" hydration systems.  Bush Master, we must ban these fashion statements on the Bush!  We should promote the Hash, not Camelback or other "civilian" concepts. Your Scribe humbly suggests down-downs for all non-Hash hydration packs in the future.  (Idea for Hares with too much time and money: have some Hash waterpacks made.)

The run started gently through plantations and on dirt roads.  Because of the "Pattaya rule" of no back-checks, for anyone but the front runners, there were rarely any breaks by the checks.


The Hares soon revealed their sadistic streak: the trail lead to the top of every hilltop, small or large, in sight of the pack.  This pattern soon made it easier for the FRBs to solve checks.


The trail eventually took the pack on top of a big hill with beautiful views to the ocean and all over Chonburi Province (and, dare I suggest on this clear day, parts of Rayong Province).  The hilltop itself was excavated and a real eyesore, so the Hounds did their best to keep their eyes glued to the horizon.


The difficult check on the hilltop had the FRBs dispersed all over the place, but the SCBs who had sensibly waited by the check for the on-on call were able to follow the Hounds on trail.


After about one hour of high-speed running, there was a tough run up to a scenic temple, where the Hares waited with their counter-dehydration medicine.  Ahh.water really does taste good sometimes!


The pack was quite spread out, so it took 25 minutes before everyone was in and the pack could set off.  A few latecomers, such as Andy Grob, also managed to catch up at this stop.


While waiting for the rest of the pack, the assembly of fine Hashers spent the time on proven Hash activities such as comparing blisters and foot injuries (No Meat, Pussy Virus), showing off bloodied limbs (Tom Crowley) and urinating inappropriately close to temple walls (to many to name).

After the fast warm-up in the lowlands, the Hares now took us into the mountains, where the first section was spent crawling up the hillside through, at times, very dense vegetation - yes, this was real Bush territory!

Because of the overgrown trails, the pack kept well together during this stretch, and the second water stop must have been reached in only 25 minutes

Having moved into the hills, the pack now started following dirt roads that climbed to ever higher elevations.

At a check high in the hillside, your Scribe was fortunate enough to hit the right trail with fellow Norwaynian Paul. Knickerless (also known as Twin Peaks) described after the run her despair upon seeing FRBs seemingly 1 km higher up solving the check and calling on-on.  Is it un-Hashmanlike behavior to hope that other Hashers won't find the trail?

Special Forces FRB Dodic, who was also on a hilltop, just not the right one, consulted his military GPS instruments and decided that the roads would intersect.  Well, as he would in time learn, they didn't, leading to many a snide remark from SCBs finishing before him.


The trail disappeared for a while on top of the mountain (the rain apparently to blame), allowing the pack to take in the spectacular view.  The Scribe would like to commend the Hares for this scenic part of the trail.

When the pack finally hit paper again, it was fast and furious down the hills until the on-in, where the Hares were waiting with the bus that would take us back to the lake.  Very nicely done, Hares!

Oh, yes, the Circle.  Well, this Scribe spent a better part of the Circle in his car, nursing a beer and waiting for the rain to stop, lest his sarong get wet.  The Bush Masters, clever and inspired as always, addressed this behavior by placing the Scribe (and his then dry sarong) in the ice-cube filled tub.  Having missed a few runs where this wonderful instrument of torture has been applied, your Scribe was mighty impressed by the freezing effect it has on the male genitals.  

But the Scribe's personal experience in the tub was nothing next to that of Love Canal, who was given the honor of serving as the Circle's Hash Victim.  Blamed for a wide range of infractions, he seemed a perpetual visitor in the tub.  He even seemed to take a perverse sexual pleasure from the punishment, displaying his shriveled manliness for all to see.  Bush Masters, you should know better than to punish a masochist!

On the subject of ice, Bush veteran Big Nosed Bastard was so happy to be back at the Bush Hash (after his detention as an illegal combatant by old farts of the Bangkok Hash) that he was seen hugging the ice and lying down on top of it.  Dao was also involved in this tearful reunion.  Good to see you back, BNB!

[The On-Sec decided to edit out further details of the Circle, which the Scribe labored for hours to reconstruct in meticulous detail.]

The on-on-on was held at Patrick's Restaurant, and the food was generously donated by Hare Flying Frog.  It was discussed among inebriated Hashers that, perhaps, this Patrick was an acquaintance of Flying Frog's.  In addition to food and beer, there was entertainment in the form of domestic disputes and a (by this time) hopelessly drunk Hash Victim.  All the ingredients of an excellent on-on-on!